Now after all this time I need to tell you why I am the mage. I will only talk of my latest experience here: it is Cambodian Cubensis; a magical mushroom. Once more I needed a spiritual journey; this time to welcome and confront my new situation in life; where I am standing and what I am looking at. When everything changes around us we struggle to have control over the events; the sense of having no direction can be scary for some people. When I loose the connection to the real world and I fell things are flying; shattering around me I surely and always will take a spiritual journey.
This sense of being lost requires the journey; you need to look at your darkest fears and walk amongst your evil faces; only to realize that there is no evil. This is the best way of re-connection to the truth in the way you want to shape it.
Cubensis will totally disconnect you from the world you know as it did to me.
I started tripping at home thinking like it would be the same as before. But this time although it was raining and midnight I had to go out into the openness. This time my lover and my boy had moved away to another city; and I was quite depressive; the main reason why I wanted to walk the shaman’s way. My slashed consciousness made me talk to the Cu (Cubensis) and I said “ok you want me out, but then hold my hand so we walk together in peace” and so happened. Feeling like a sponge I started to walk; a great wave of happiness overtook me and it was amazing to look at the same street you saw everyday but see something totally different. The trees were so much shorter and the streetlights under rain were swinging. Waha I knew I was enjoying but there were lots of thoughts in my mind; one of them was strongly recommending me to go to the beach. the tought of seeing the great mass of water made me walk faster; yet I was avoiding to come across with anyone as I wouldn’t have been able to say anything making sense. when I reached the beach I paced on the sand and the same voice said now it was the time to walk straight into the water till I was dead. ops she is gone my baby is gone I don’t have a job now; world is shit; there is ısıs blablabla; so you want me to die… It sounded appealing but not the idea of dying; the fact that the huge winter waves of the Med were kindly inviting me; farther on the open sea I could see the lightning; red clouds above my head…. This is not the heart of darkness I said; there is no sorrow or worry; there is the fact that it is 01:00 am and I am standing all alone on the beach – I peed into the sea instead of dying in it. Poseidon wanted a connection and I gave it to him.
I’d taken my phone with me so I could check the time; as time was not the same neither. I walked back to the road and stared at the little lights of the closed shops on the beach; resolution was so high. I followed Cu guiding me; the psychedelia I was experiencing was now mainly showing me the beauty of our planet and how incredible every detail is. I saw this man in the picture here standing on top of a boat and the Poseidon told me that this man and the boat should be on the water. I said they will have to wait longer. As I know when you are on a journey; you don’t stop when you are called; you stop when you choose to stop so I continued walking.
This lady in stone though made me really jump and yell. I had my hood on as it was raining so my sight was narrow; yet I wanted to see more so I kept turning and looking to my right and left. Suddenly at a turn to my left I saw her staring at me; I think that second I had the same color as her. I couldn’t leave her for a while; I waited to pick a sign ; she looked like a fallen angel to me and I realized the mass and the hatred our planet was suffering once more….
I walked nearly for 4 hours and on the way back home Cu was telling me I didn’t need her to walk out some nights and enjoy thousands of images and colors and fragrances our lady Gaya is pleased to share